Am I the only one feeling this way…

Yesterday, I finished my work day at 12, so that I could lovingly fetch my younger girls from school. Fairly on time 🙂

I was so excited at the prospect of spending the day with them. 

Well, by 12.45 – the moaning, bickering and requests started rolling in. I sat there at looked at this playing out. And dropped this gem!

It also reminded me that I really am not a stay-home mom. I take my hat off to those magic makers. I tried. Twice. And nope!

Back to the truth bomb that feels so real for me. And they seem to forget that there is a part of my life that is, well – about me. Not just about them and their needs! 

They heard me. And it stopped. 🙂

We went on to have a lovely day and evening together, and with family.

Have a wonderful Tuesday, magic makers!

Serving yourself too 🙂

Love

Ray

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because you are strong enough…

These are some of my favourite words.

To be honest, I wrestle with them. Often!

Sometimes it feels like too much of an ask. It feels unfair.

The juggle. The challenges. The demands.

There is also an invitation in these words. It feels challenging. Asking us not to settle. To keep pushing through. And I get it. Sometimes that feels like too much of an ask as well.

The thing is, whether we are aware of it in the moment or not, we do keep pushing through. And we keep showing up. Inspite of the juggle, the challenges and the demands. On auto-pilot a lot of the time 🙂

So when next I take a moment and read these words, I am going to be gentle with myself. And give myself a high five! I hope you do the same, magic makers!

Love

Ray

because you are strong enough…

 

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be the outstretched palm…

Tribe!

I just love these words from @iamhertribe.

Recently, I’ve been seeing posts by newly single-mom’s. The start of that journey is so hard. And painful. And feels lonely.

So I reached out.

I would like to invite you to do the same, please?

‘be the outstretched palm that allows someone to be seen. heard. and not so alone today.’

God Bless,

Ray

 

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Oops! I did it again…

A little cheesy, I know. It is how I feel right now though…

Two weeks ago, I posted about going quiet. Read more here.

And I have done it again.

This moment feels very familiar. It mirrors the same hopeful time of 2012, which also brought me to a place of practicing faith, trust and patience.  Patience! Yah, not so easy.

I am here. Feeling hopeful and I will keep connecting.

Thank you for being patient with me.

With love,

Ray

 

 

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Flashback Friday… Look how far we’ve come!

‘Last night my girls and I spent our first night in our new home. Dinner, popcorn and Thor! All is right with the world. #Grateful #LifeWithLittleGirls’…

This memory popped up on my Facebook feed this morning. A memory from 2013! And it forced me to pause.

We have come a long, long way.

I needed this reminder. Today.

When I get focused on what lies ahead, the decisions that need to be made, daily. The juggling that needs to happen, daily. Where I think we are in our lives, the frustration that arises if it’s not where I had hoped we would be. And then the next rabbit hole is how to get us there. Quicker.

This reminder!

We are getting there. We will get there. Look at how far we have come.

One of my tribes-woman :), is a yogi and shared a wonderful encouragement her instructor uses during their classes – ‘Slowly, slowly and everything is coming’

So, today I hope that wherever you find yourself, whatever you may be thinking about your journey thus far, be gentle with yourself. Pause for a moment. Look back – to remember how far you’ve come.

And feel the gratitude that arises.

God Bless,

Ray 

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Feel us at your back…

 

Five years ago, as I waited for my case to be called at the Wynberg Divorce Court, I received a message from a work colleague. Part of that message read – ‘Feel us at your back.’

As I sat on that hard, uncomfortable bench – waiting to publicly say why I was filing for a divorce and to hear whether or not the judge accepted my reason, those words struck such a cord.

‘Feel us at your back…’

What that meant to me, in that moment, was that I was being held.

I straightened up a little. Thinking to myself – you’ll get through this moment. Without shame. Without judgement.

I just received the strength and energy of those words.

I also realised how vital it is to have a tribe that supports you in this way, when your life changes so drastically.

Creating this space, this blog, is my way of being at yours.

I hope the feeling deepens as we get to know each other.

We need to hold each other up… Don’t you think?

With love and understanding

Ray

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Love + Understanding

‘Love and understanding. I like those words and the power they carry.’

My closing thoughts to my first blog post, published last week, read here

As I reflect on the last five years in particular, whether in a moment of gratitude – exhaustion or preparing a blog post, I am reminded of how empowering this principle has been to me.

Love and understanding has carried me this far. Giving me the courage and permission to do this journey, warts and all!

I’ve received it from family, friends and work colleagues. From unexpected sources. I receive it still. Daily. It has not been easy accepting it. I’ve had to learn to do so, graciously. Am I grateful that I have!

Giving it to myself – is my continued practice.

His love and understanding anchors me†

My hope is that you find your trusted sources of love and understanding.

You need it. You will continue to need it. You deserve it.

Remember to gift it to yourself too.

Actually, let’s also practice giving it to each other. More. Freely.

With love and understanding,

Ray

Be gentle with yourself

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A little more about Us

As you may have read in our ‘about us’ message, I have four daughters. Yes, four! As you and I get to know each other, I’ll share about how I got to that number…

I’ve been married.

For the past nearly five years, I’ve been learning to be a single parent. I’m still learning.

There are days when I feel like I’ve got it, and there are days where I would like to run off to an island – cue the Brazilian helicopter pilot from Inside Out.

My decision to be a single parent was not an easy one. Deciding to go it alone, start over with four girls – 10 years old and younger at the time – was one of the most terrifyingly hopeful seasons of my adult life.

I’m okay with my decision. We’re okay.

Again, as we get to know each other I’ll share those stories. I say this because I know some may think that being a single parent is not a choice that anyone would be happy about. It comes at such a price. I understand that. For my little family, it was the right thing to do.

The journey has not been and is not always easy. It’s been painful, stressful, sad and exhausting. It is also hopeful, fun, strengthening, love and grace filled and more.

All we can do is one day at a time.

All we can try is to be gentle with ourselves and each other.

It’s not always easy.

I think that’s why I started our blog. In the hope that our story would encourage others. For us to be encouraged by others. So that we could support one another with love and understanding. Because I know that’s what I need. Daily.

Love and understanding… I like those words and the power they carry.

God Bless,

Ray

Be gentle with yourself

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