Am I the only one feeling this way…

Yesterday, I finished my work day at 12, so that I could lovingly fetch my younger girls from school. Fairly on time 🙂

I was so excited at the prospect of spending the day with them. 

Well, by 12.45 – the moaning, bickering and requests started rolling in. I sat there at looked at this playing out. And dropped this gem!

It also reminded me that I really am not a stay-home mom. I take my hat off to those magic makers. I tried. Twice. And nope!

Back to the truth bomb that feels so real for me. And they seem to forget that there is a part of my life that is, well – about me. Not just about them and their needs! 

They heard me. And it stopped. 🙂

We went on to have a lovely day and evening together, and with family.

Have a wonderful Tuesday, magic makers!

Serving yourself too 🙂

Love

Ray

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because you are strong enough…

These are some of my favourite words.

To be honest, I wrestle with them. Often!

Sometimes it feels like too much of an ask. It feels unfair.

The juggle. The challenges. The demands.

There is also an invitation in these words. It feels challenging. Asking us not to settle. To keep pushing through. And I get it. Sometimes that feels like too much of an ask as well.

The thing is, whether we are aware of it in the moment or not, we do keep pushing through. And we keep showing up. Inspite of the juggle, the challenges and the demands. On auto-pilot a lot of the time 🙂

So when next I take a moment and read these words, I am going to be gentle with myself. And give myself a high five! I hope you do the same, magic makers!

Love

Ray

because you are strong enough…

 

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This Family of mine…

It’s been a crazy couple of weeks.

The hustle has been gross!

Yesterday, I posted about the sense of gratitude, in spite of the daily grind and everything it brings.

I am incredibly grateful to, and for these humans!

Introducing – from the left 🙂

Aunty Cara, Uncle Andy (baby brother), Ma Filly-Babes, Pa Ceddie-Boy, Aunty Nielle and Uncle Justy (baby brother)!

Being a single-mother is not easy, not by a long shot. Having a family like this, at my back, is everything!

They show up.

And the girls see that. And they feel that.

And it feels right to show them appreciation.

Thank you, family! ♥

With LoVe,

Ray

P.S I commit to suntanning this summer!

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be the outstretched palm…

Tribe!

I just love these words from @iamhertribe.

Recently, I’ve been seeing posts by newly single-mom’s. The start of that journey is so hard. And painful. And feels lonely.

So I reached out.

I would like to invite you to do the same, please?

‘be the outstretched palm that allows someone to be seen. heard. and not so alone today.’

God Bless,

Ray

 

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Mmm, let’s talk about love!

I have thought about writing this post for a while, especially during Valentine’s month 🙂

Because boy, was the pressure on during Feb! My girls, God Bless them, are so ready for me to start dating. And remarry! #Jesustakethewheel

And they have given it some very serious thought. They had a serious list of reasons why they thought this would be a good idea. One of my favourites being, ‘so that you can have some help’. Like I live alone!

I appreciate their concern for me, and that they are looking at the right reasons – for the most part – for me to explore a relationship. I think they worry that I may be lonely or that I will always be single. What warms my heart is that they are okay. They understand that my relationship with their Dad has a different context now, and they are okay with that.

They feel safe and secure enough to be this open with me, and make their ‘concerns’ known.

It also reminds me of how important love is. For all of us, especially single-Moms.

So, to the magic-making-single Mom’s out there, let’s keep reminding ourselves that we deserve that love too.

Now – all that’s left is for me to pluck up some courage!

Love,

Ray

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How to kick the school runs arse!…

Tribe,

I was tickled pink when I saw this image! It is such a truth for me! Particularly this week.

So I will confess..

I do the school drop-off in my gown. Most mornings! That’s right. And I could excuse it by explaining that every morning by 6.20am I have already dropped off the teenager. Then when I get back home, it’s time to get the three younger girls ready for school. To their credit, they pack their own lunches. And, you know how it goes that time of the morning.

By the time we are ready to leave the house at around 7.35am – I have just about neatened (noted not brushed) my hair. Enter – my lovingly worn grey gown. A gift from my brother, Andy and his partner, Cara 🙂 #forevergrateful

Said gown does what it needs to, no questions asked, no chatting back, and it does it so well. How could I not show it some love! And you would think there may be some embarrassment or shame on my part! You would be mistaken! I wish you could have seen the surprise and wonder on the face of one of my friends, Letishia, when she realised I was in my gown! It was perfect! She came around though, noting that a gown should be a mandatory issue when embarking on the journey of motherhood!

There is a point here. And it is – I ‘dala what I must’ to make the magic happen everyday! 🙂

So Mom’s, keep doing what you must – in the way that makes it work for you and your family – as you continue to make magic happen!

With love,

Ray

 

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Keep Calm & Carry On!

Happy Friday tribe!

This post is a long time coming.

The past five weeks have been a bit of a blur. We were taken hostage by the mumps. Each of my girls had it, in turn, since the week before Christmas! Isabella had her first day back at school, yesterday! The 25 January 2018!

The mumps has also delayed us from meeting the newest member of our clan, baby Jude Alexander! The first boy in 15 years! We have had to video call our monkey, and will need to wait another 3 weeks before we get to snuggle him! I mean really! My first nephew!

Lawd!

Shame man! The girls were hard hit. Their faces expanding to double it’s size (needed to be seen to be believed), fevers, loss of appetite and terrible pain – and the heat of Cape Town!

Even though the mumps disrupted our festive season some what, it also forced us into ease. That’s my silver lining.

So all we did was – we kept calm and carried on – and hired Blue Bloods – starting with season 1. Thank God for the Reagan family, and pizza!

The lesson for me was, ‘it is what it is’ and we had to roll with it. And so we did.

So here’s to a mumps free weekend!

Have a wonderful weekend with your loved ones!

God Bless,

Ray

 

 

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It’s Monday, but it’s ok…

Monday!

I had such hope!
Okay. It’s not been totally awful.

Couldn’t find the house keys. Rehearsing a grade 1 mondeling. And this before 7am!

Deep sigh….

The keys were eventully found… In the dvd cupboard. Don’t ask.

So, we could get to school on time. Only to realize that the grade 1 mondeling flash card was left at home. Drop two girls at school and rush back home with youngest girl to get the flash cards.

Thankfully, we made it back to school before the second bell… All while wearing my grey gown and hair in a messy bun. Because hey, it was that kind of morning!

Deep sigh…

And then off to work…
It’s the boss’s birthday, so chocolate cake with strawberries and a cup of tea for breakfast!

It’s Monday, but it will be ok. And it will be ok!

With love,

Ray

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When LiFe happens…

Life happened this weekend. And it has spilled over to today.

All the girls are down. It ranges from a bad bout of tonsillitis, to migraines, to chest infections and growing pains.

And today, they are home. I am too. Trying to work from home as well as nurse these monkeys.

As much as I am deeply grateful that I get to do so, I am also so acutely aware that I would rather be back at the office… You know what I mean.

The kitchen looks like a bomb has gone off (I need to pluck up some more courage before I share that pic) AND apparently there is nothing to eat in the house.

As I write this post, the three younger girls are sitting next to me. On our two seater couch. I would like to add, there is another three seater couch as well as two single seater chairs in my lounge.

The starved teenager is somewhere rummaging for food!

And me, I am about to pop open a bottle of champagne.

That’s my Monday! How is yours going?

With love,

Ray

practicing being gentle with myself and the girls during the mayhem

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Feel us at your back…

 

Five years ago, as I waited for my case to be called at the Wynberg Divorce Court, I received a message from a work colleague. Part of that message read – ‘Feel us at your back.’

As I sat on that hard, uncomfortable bench – waiting to publicly say why I was filing for a divorce and to hear whether or not the judge accepted my reason, those words struck such a cord.

‘Feel us at your back…’

What that meant to me, in that moment, was that I was being held.

I straightened up a little. Thinking to myself – you’ll get through this moment. Without shame. Without judgement.

I just received the strength and energy of those words.

I also realised how vital it is to have a tribe that supports you in this way, when your life changes so drastically.

Creating this space, this blog, is my way of being at yours.

I hope the feeling deepens as we get to know each other.

We need to hold each other up… Don’t you think?

With love and understanding

Ray

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