because you are strong enough…

These are some of my favourite words.

To be honest, I wrestle with them. Often!

Sometimes it feels like too much of an ask. It feels unfair.

The juggle. The challenges. The demands.

There is also an invitation in these words. It feels challenging. Asking us not to settle. To keep pushing through. And I get it. Sometimes that feels like too much of an ask as well.

The thing is, whether we are aware of it in the moment or not, we do keep pushing through. And we keep showing up. Inspite of the juggle, the challenges and the demands. On auto-pilot a lot of the time 🙂

So when next I take a moment and read these words, I am going to be gentle with myself. And give myself a high five! I hope you do the same, magic makers!

Love

Ray

because you are strong enough…

 

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This Family of mine…

It’s been a crazy couple of weeks.

The hustle has been gross!

Yesterday, I posted about the sense of gratitude, in spite of the daily grind and everything it brings.

I am incredibly grateful to, and for these humans!

Introducing – from the left 🙂

Aunty Cara, Uncle Andy (baby brother), Ma Filly-Babes, Pa Ceddie-Boy, Aunty Nielle and Uncle Justy (baby brother)!

Being a single-mother is not easy, not by a long shot. Having a family like this, at my back, is everything!

They show up.

And the girls see that. And they feel that.

And it feels right to show them appreciation.

Thank you, family! ♥

With LoVe,

Ray

P.S I commit to suntanning this summer!

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Single-parenting. Positively

Hello tribe!

it’s June already! I hope you are pausing in some way, to take a few breaths.

I thought I would share an article I read in the April/May 2018 issue of the Cape Town’s Child Magazine, Positively single (read here).

The title may feel like an unthinkable ask – especially if you’re a newly single parent and trying to find your feet. It’s an honest yet gentle piece about the realness of the journey of single parents, particularly single-moms. The stigmas. The challenges.

The article touches on key aspects of the single-parent journey – your mental attitude, understanding how your attitude affects your children, the quality of your tribe, moving through your pain, not getting stuck in your story, self-care, persevering and hope.

If I think about my own journey thus far, these themes kinda continue. What I realised while reading the article is that it’s a daily intentional choice that I have to make! To keep my mind strong and positive. We rely on it. And you have to persevere – it’s the only choice really, because the alternative is harder to overcome.

Helena also provides a survival kit for single moms and dads. She starts with forgiveness. I strongly echo this invitation. One of my mantras whilst making my decision and then going through the divorce process, was a definition of forgiveness I had heard on the Oprah show (of course!) a few years prior and it stuck! ‘Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could have been any different’. I remember this almost daily still.

Forgiveness allows you to open yourself to all the possibilities of your future.

Remember – you are braver than you think.  Take it one day at a time.

Have a wonderful weekend, magic makers!

With love,

Ray

be gentle with yourselves…

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The Strength of my Woman Tribe…

To the women in my tribe…

We see each other daily. We see each other often. We see each other less frequently.

We message each other daily. We message each other often. We message each other less frequently.

We have been friends for many years. We have met more recently.

Do you know how deeply you are loved and appreciated?

I thank God for each of you, everyday.

That no gesture, message, phone call, coffee, lunch, school run chat, dinner, laugh, cry with you is taken for granted. Not for one moment.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

May we continue to weave love around each other, and invite other women to do the same.

With my love and appreciation,

Ray 

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Feel us at your back…

 

Five years ago, as I waited for my case to be called at the Wynberg Divorce Court, I received a message from a work colleague. Part of that message read – ‘Feel us at your back.’

As I sat on that hard, uncomfortable bench – waiting to publicly say why I was filing for a divorce and to hear whether or not the judge accepted my reason, those words struck such a cord.

‘Feel us at your back…’

What that meant to me, in that moment, was that I was being held.

I straightened up a little. Thinking to myself – you’ll get through this moment. Without shame. Without judgement.

I just received the strength and energy of those words.

I also realised how vital it is to have a tribe that supports you in this way, when your life changes so drastically.

Creating this space, this blog, is my way of being at yours.

I hope the feeling deepens as we get to know each other.

We need to hold each other up… Don’t you think?

With love and understanding

Ray

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